You are probably wondering what happened to part 3? Well, it was destroyed by former General Motors CEO Rick Wagoner. Part 3 of this series was entitled "sell vehicles that consumers do not enjoy". You see, consumers don't like to purchase vehicles that are practical, efficient, easy to repair, or not stressful to drive. This is why you see so many Hummers on the road.
I mean for shit's sake, look at that monsterchrist™! 
Nice job Hummer. You sure know how to treat other cars with respect and dignity as you kill them. You see, people don't want a car that doesn't accidentally kill other cars. And while it is in the process of destroying all human/car life, it eats a lot of fuel-based fuel too. That fuel costs moneydollars™ which clearly your average consumer is VERY interested in spending. Look, everyone knows that humans love to spend hard earned currency-resources on things that only exist for a short while. So that is why it is in the CONSUMER'S best interest to sell a vehicle that both uses a the most fuel per integral-distance-unit AND costs a lot of money to purchase and maintain.
What is the opposite of a good car? This unassuming vehicle:
"But Aaron" you say in a stupid voice, "you can't just travel into the future with Matt's time machine and take pictures of future cars and compare them to today's vehicles"! Well, if you had said that, you would've proven the adage that even a stopped brain can be right two times a day. I didn't travel into the future to take a picture of this car. I stole this picture from someone else who probably stole it from an additional, tertiary person who took this picture IN THE PAST.
You see, Rick Wagoner destroyed this car with money missiles. Why? Because it was cheap, fast, highly practical, extremely easy to repair, and produced zero exhaust. This is the EV1, the world's greatest car. But consumers don't want that! They WANT to spend money on gas, and since Matt and I own all of the fuel on this planet and others, and have shareholders such as Rick Wagoner (and every other executive of every car company in America), we want you to continue to need to purchase fuel. Otherwise, how the shit are we supposed to continue to make trillions of dollars?
If something works towards the greater good, I can promise you it doesn't make any money. Therefor, you must destroy it.
And now, if you aren't a complete moron (which you probably are), you are wondering why GM would ever make this car in the first place if it wasn't going to make everybody who is an executive a lot of money. Well, the answer is that the government made them do it. You see, the California state government, in all of its finite wisdom, decided that pollution was destroying the Earth and we should probably do something to stop it. That was a stupid thought. Pollution doesn't harm the Earth, it adds to it... it adds hilarious charm. Nobody likes air anyway... too much oxygen can kill you.
You see, there are two types of people who end up running our various governments. Those who do things for the service of humankind, and those who do things to make money. Since Matt and I believe that making money IS servicing the Humankind™ (but only if we make the money), we tend to prefer the latter type of person. You see, after the former type of people decided to make a law in California requiring any company wishing to sell motorized transportation vehicles must have a certain percent of their product line be zero emissions, the latter type of people rose up and reinstituted the important idea that government is about making those in power (and their friends) wealthy. At the helm was Rick Wagoner, rightfully clearing the path to a wonderful future of stale technology and delicious pollution.
So, as you see, it is in our best interest that you keep purchasing cars that require a fuel that we can control. I mean, you're not going to go drill for it, refine it, and ship it to your home to put in your car yourself, are you? That is what you pay a modest fee for us to do for you. So why would you want to stop paying us money because you own a vehicle that doesn't require what we sell.
Sure makes sense. If you don't get it, then you're stupid and should exit the internet.
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